My Name is Alex Harden,
For a long time, I was an alcoholic and a gambler. I tried to get sober on my own, but no matter what I did, nothing seemed to work. I knew God growing up, but somewhere along the way, I had drifted away from Him.
What started out as partying eventually became something much darker. Alcohol and gambling slowly took control of my life. From outside, it probably looked like I had everything together. I could smile, joke around, and carry on like everything was fine. But on the inside, I was a complete mess. I compare that time in my life to wearing a mask.
The problem with wearing a mask is that nobody knows the real you. You can convince everyone around you that you’re okay, but eventually you have to be honest with yourself. And I wasn’t okay.
I was lonely. I was lost. I was trying to fill something inside of me with alcohol, gambling, and the things of this world. I kept trying to fix my problems myself, but the harder I tried, the deeper I seemed to get.
Eventually, I came to a point where I knew I couldn’t keep living the way I was living. I needed help. That’s when I went to a program called Teen Challenge. That is where my journey really began.
To be honest, the program was hard for me. I had to give up things that I had held onto for a long time—my pride, my ego, my control, and the idea that I knew what was best for my life. I had spent so long doing things my own way that surrendering was one of the hardest things I had ever done. For the first few months, I still tried to do things my way. I thought I had everything under control. I thought I could figure things out on my own. Even though I was in a program designed to help me change, I was still fighting to maintain control.
Looking back, I realize that I wasn’t just fighting the program. I was fighting surrender. I didn’t want to completely let go and trust God with my life. About six months into the program, something changed.
I remember one day praying to God for about 90 minutes in the orchard. I was trying to figure out whether this was really His plan for me. I had so many questions. I remember thinking, “Why am I here? Why is this happening to me?” At the time, I thought God was punishing me by sending me to a program. I thought this was the consequence of everything that had gone wrong in my life, and I didn’t understand why God would allow me to go through something so difficult.
But now, looking back, I see it completely differently. God wasn’t punishing me. God was giving me another chance at life. Going to a program was a consequence of my actions, but God used that consequence to change the direction of my life. What I saw as punishment, God was using for my good. That realization changed everything for me.
I finally began to understand who God really was. I started to realize that He wasn’t trying to take my life away from me—He was trying to give me a new one. I learned that God had a plan for my life and he loved me for me. For the first time, I was willing to trust Him. I was finally willing to say, “God, I don’t know what Your plan is, but I’m willing to give it a try.” That was the beginning of real change in my life.
I graduated from the program almost six years ago, and I have not had a drink or gambled since October 15, 2019. When I look at my life today, it is almost unrecognizable compared to where I was.
I am beyond blessed. I get to walk through this life free from the things that once controlled me. I have a whole new career. I have a completely different outlook on life. I have been blessed with an amazing girlfriend. I’ve been able to purchase homes and accomplish things I never thought were possible.
But as grateful as I am for all of those things, none of them are the most important part of my story. The most important part is my relationship with Jesus. Because I could have a great career, a nice home, money, relationships, and everything else the world says should make me happy—but none of those things compare to knowing Jesus and having a relationship with Him.
The greatest gift God gave me wasn’t just sobriety. He gave me freedom. He gave me a purpose. He gave me hope. And most importantly, He gave me Himself.
Today, I don’t have to wear that mask anymore. My story isn’t about how strong I was. It’s about how faithful God was when I wasn’t.
I am thankful for Teen Challenge. I’m thankful for the people who walked with me when I didn’t know how to walk on my own. I’m thankful for the lessons I learned, the difficult days that shaped me, and even the consequences that brought me to that place.
Most of all, I’m thankful that God never gave up on me.
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